“I’ve lost weight” I announced.
Everyone congratulated me.
But Weight was the name of my son.
How laughable. ”weight” clearly is not the same as “Weight” and trying to trick your reader into suggesting they are is a pitiful attempt at being clever. Your idea was somewhat original but the execution is cheap and unfulfilling. Oh, and the italics… they’re only highlighting your failure even further.
Shit gets serious when “I put my name on it” and this is just such a literary low it’s hard to believe someone would publish it. You know, it’s not the idea that bothers me it’s the way it’s written i.e. (“my son”). This person is clearly impressed with themselves and feels you, the reader, should be too. And that, ladies and gents, is exactly why this fails. Humorous writing is born from wit and real-life experience not over-thought word play and cheap tricks.
Sorry. I’m not impressed.